plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
