why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
