I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
