Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
