Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
