then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
