Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
