i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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