i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
