Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
