tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
