i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
