Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize