you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
