He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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