I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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