you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
