Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
