the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
