I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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