I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
