dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
two words...techno handjob
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
