oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
