i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
