He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
