I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
