it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
