Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
