if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
