im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
