i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
