I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize