The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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