I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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