Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
