11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i out mim tonsoeep
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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