I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize