it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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