its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
