using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
