i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
