Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
