Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
