So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
