Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
