And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
