dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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