I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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