I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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