ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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