Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
