she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
