I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
