They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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