I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
