great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
