I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
