I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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