But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
