I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
