You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
