Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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